Monday, April 30, 2007
A bitch spent Saturday avoiding human contact.
Trust me, it was a good call.
But I emerged Sunday to attend A Tasteful Affair. A Tasteful Affair is a food-based fundraiser that benefits Food Outreach, which is an organization that makes sure folks with HIV/AIDS and cancer get nutritious meals!
There were so many fantabulous varieties of food…well, this bitch almost lost my appetite.
Congratulations to Food Outreach and all the volunteers and sponsors who helped make this event a yummified success!
A Rage in Georgetown...
George Tenet emerged from his Georgetown lair and onto 60 Minutes last night to attempt…with a great deal of rage-based emotion, mind you…to spin his role in the Iraq War pre-conflict drama.
A word of advice, Georgie… when attempting to ease fears that the CIA might have tortured prisoners held in secret prisons one should not appear to have a rage management problem on the verge of resulting in stroke.
Mercy, a bitch feared for a certain 60 Minutes report’s life…more than once…more than twice!
So, Tenet is trying to say that he has been fucked over by Cheney…but a bitch isn’t buying it.
Don’t get me wrong…Dickie C. would just as soon shoot you in the face (duck, motherfucker!) as have your back in a strategy fight…blink…but Tenet, being the grown ass man that he is, wasn’t required to take all that bullshit.
The notion that Tenet was forced through some old school code of political honor (oh, puhlease!) to go with the flow and not call bullshit or resign fails the smell test…stinks on ice…where did all the flies come from?…mmmhmm, it’s bullshit!
That’s right…wait for it...oh, yes…we’ve got a healthy portion (500 pages give or take a few) of absolute bullshit on ice, y’all!
But hey, the display of barely controlled rage on 60 Minutes was entertaining…if you’re into that kind of cage fighting foaming at the mouth about to cut loose and water board you to within an inch of your life kind of rage.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Let’s just jump right on in, shall we?
A WWJD Pondering...
A bitch calls bullshit on this move pulled by none other than Archbishop Raymond you want communion you’d best vote like I tell you to Burke.
St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke resigned from the Cardinal Glennon Hospital Foundation board because Sheryl Crow is performing at the Bob Costas fundraiser to benefit Cardinal Glennon this Saturday.
Non-locals should know that Cardinal Glennon is a children’s hospital and Bob Costas has a fundraiser every year to raise money to help the wee little babies & chil’ren who are treated there.
Archbishop Burke hates Sheryl Crow (a Missouri native) because Ms. Crow is pro-choice and supported the stem cell research initiative in Missouri last year.
A bitch is pretty sure Sheryl could give a shit about Archbishop Burke despite his apparent obsession with her and her opinions.
Local radio was buzzing about the “good Catholic” and “bad Catholic” thing, but this bitch isn’t Catholic…so my mind went straight to the ‘what the fuck is this dude trying to say?’ angle.
Archbishop Burke issued a statement in which he described Crow's planned appearance as "an affront to the identity and mission of the medical center, dedicated as it is to the service of life and Christ's healing mission."
His opinion appears to be that supporting the event is supporting “sin” because one of the performers has expressed views that differ from Catholic teachings.
But Billy Crystal is also going to be there and a bitch is pretty sure his views don't jive with all manner of Catholic teachings.
Hell, Bob Costas is the main man behind the event and he’s divorced from his first wife.
He’s since remarried.
…which should have had Burke up in arms months ago since he’s all about protecting traditional man on woman fluid exchanging only in the hope of creating life and never to be torn asunder marriage…right?
But it appears that Archbishop Burke is selectively offended and full to bursting with bullshit.
Why hit the breaks at Sheryl Crow?
Well, Burke is trying to rustle up a wedge issue or two on the stem cell research and abortion issues amongst the faithful…just like that move to deny communion to those who didn’t vote the ‘good Catholic” vote was about turning out anti-choice votes.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I remember Soviets being so dangerous that they wouldn’t even teach the Russian language in public school.
I remember movie after movie featuring emotionless robot-esque Soviets bent on domination and destruction.
And I remember President Reagan getting his great communicator on whilst ordering the Soviets to tear down that wall…
…back when walls were bad, Russians were Soviets and the Soviet system of government was the greatest threat to freedom ever created.
But I also remember very clearly the first time I heard the song Russians by Sting (thanks music fans for the correction).
Oh, like you didn’t get your groove on to The Police...or Sting (wink)... back in the day?
Mmmmhmmm…whatever…you still know the words to Roxanne.
A bitch was a wee bitch and spun out on 1980’s propaganda when I first heard Russians on MTV back when MTV played music videos 24/7. I lay on the polished wood floor in front of the television and soaked it in.
In Europe and America, there’s a growing feeling of hysteria
Conditioned to respond to all the threats
In the rhetorical speeches of the soviets
Mr. Khrushchev said we will bury you
I don’t subscribe to this point of view
It would be such an ignorant thing to do
If the Russians love their children too
For some reason the words made me cry. I realized that I had never thought of Russians as people with children who lay upon the floor in front of the television.
How can I save my little boy from Oppenheimer’s deadly toy
There is no monopoly in common sense
On either side of the political fence
We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too
It was the first time I contemplated ‘the other’ as human…that there are people over there who may think differently but who love the same.
Don’t they…didn’t they…didn’t history teach us that they love the same?
There is no historical precedent
To put the words in the mouth of the president
There’s no such thing as a winnable war
Its a lie that we don’t believe anymore
Mr. Reagan says we will protect you
I don’t subscribe to this point of view
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too
And wasn’t the brilliance of mutual destruction built on the foundation of valuing life…of the Russians loving their children too?
We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology
What might save us, me, and you
Is that the Russians love their children too
The same television that introduced this bitch to Russians by The Police brought news of summits and nuclear escalation…of revolution and liberation…of that wall being torn down not by politicians but by the masses…and of elections on Russian soil. A bitch watched in amazement as Soviets became Russians who went to the polls and it was beyond emotional to think that it was all better now.
They love their children too!
Gawd, I thought I was witnessing a grand experiment as democracy was introduced into the Soviet blood stream. It would cure those Russians of that system of government that was the greatest threat ever created and they would pass the cure on…and so on…and so on…and does this sound familiar?
But the Russians who were once Soviets did not build a perfect democracy any more than our founders did…and everything hasn’t been more better for all of those Soviets who became Russians.
Perhaps freedom has multiple definitions?
Perhaps real change requires more than a photo op featuring ecstatic faces in a liberated square tearing down a symbol of past oppression.
What might save us, me, and you?
Is that they do love their children too...
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I always suspected that O’Beirne’s rancidity was up there with she who shall not be named because the mention of her makes the wee chil’ren cry…but O’Beirne’s resistance to correction was unanticipated!
Oh for the love of all bitchitude, I did not "spank" Kate O’Beirne last night…well, I did…cough…but it was during a rather exhausting session of dream-based correction.
Newish readers should know that a bitch’s dreams are just dreams and any ass whooping that takes place is…ummm, dream based and therefore not real!
Also, my official NSA monitoring buddy…I like to call him Hal (a bitch loves you like an incurable rash, son)… should make note of that too!
Anyhoo, my dream-based correction of O’Beirne was amazingly unsatisfying! I woke up pondering her ability to maintain that level of denial and the life that would sustain such a state.
See, this bitch read the news that a study conducted by the American Association of University Women Educational Foundation found…gasp…a wage gap between men and women and I immediately thought that shit was the most obvious data dished out since the “revelation” that there are poor black people living in New Orleans.
But clearly the news that women make less than men for the same fucking work is…well, news to some people.
And this bitch resents the hell out of those Kate O’Beirnesque people!
I resent the hell out of anyone who didn’t know that women make less than men fordoing the same shit!
I resent the Kate O’Beirners for their over paying bullshit spewing jobs that afford them the kind of income to support a state of denial about the gender wage gap.
Oh, it’s not that the Kate O’Beirners aren’t getting fucked over on the gender wage gap tip.
I suspect that they are.
No, it’s that fact that they are making “no need to question what other folks are making” money.
Mmmhmm, you know what I mean...so over the top when compared to their actual value that they can’t be bothered to fret about income equality much less validate that some of us are counting quarters and adding water to soup every time the price of gas goes up.
They probably haven’t looked at a co-worker’s new whatever-the-fuck-most-coveted-thing in envy which quickly evolves into “how much does that motherfucker make, anyway?” dismay in years…if ever.
Well fuck you in advance Kate O’Beirne and your followers!
Your denial of the validity of this report is as predictable as the gender wage gap one year out of college.
Monday, April 23, 2007
What the fuck is this shit?
And do these people have no understanding of history?
The solution worked up by the United States and Iraqi forces to deal with those insurgent attacks that John McCain claimed are no big deal anyhoo (wince...not his best moment) is to build a “temporary” wall.
A temporary wall, for the love of all that is foolish and flawed from jump!
Mayhap they borrowed the idea from the head idiots in charge who thought a fence would solve our immigration challenges?
Lawd, give me strength!
I immediately thought of the footage I’ve seen of the Berlin Wall back in the day…that had been rumor...and then became a fence...which, over time, grew into a 'oh shit, we need power tools' huge ass thick wall/symbol.
Wise people know that temporary solutions too often become semi-permanent drama infused tools of oppression.
Now that I think of it, “Wall them the fuck in!” is rarely proposed by the nice guys.
I think my afro just went gray…
The one bright spot from this weekend was meeting a certain Rachel P. of the ACLU, who was kind enough to set up a chat with the fantabulous Jesselyn McCurdy. The ACLU was in St. Louis to…well, meet in St. Louis (wink) so a bitch was thrilled to get some one on one time!
Look for this bitch to post on the layered issues surrounding the federal crack cocaine law, why it’s not making our communities safer and what we can each do about it.
Thank you Rachel and Jesselyn!
In a time when so many of our elected to government appear unwilling to challenge or question…or unprepared to speak on behalf of the people’s interest…I recall Rep. Millender-McDonald advocating on behalf of her district in 1996 in response to allegations that the CIA introduced crack cocaine to South Central.
I heard of her passing and my mind immediately jumped to one of my favorite quotes… “fear not the path of truth, for the lack of people walking on it”.
Congresswoman Millender-McDonald was 68 years old.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Gonzales took such a beating yesterday my ass is willing to bet he begged Scooter B. to take his resignation.
Person after person within the inner Bushie (a bitch just adores that new word, don’t you?) circle seems to be able to take large politically damaging shits in the Executive living room…over and over again…and not get kicked to the curb.
Shit, some of the biggest fuck-ups got medals…or were appointed to head the World Bank where they fucked up (literally) yet again!
Don’t get me wrong, I understand why Scooter B. is reluctant to fire Gonzales. Shit, he may be a dumb ass but even he knows that confirming a new Attorney General through the current congress would be an absolute beating and I don’t mean the fun kind (wink).
At least these scandals offer a glimpse into how all manner of shit got messed up in D.C. under Scooter B’s watch.
Either the e-mail alerting the West Wing to the flawed intelligence on Iraq was lost to the same mystery virus that ate all those Rovian e-mails...
…or Wolfowitz was fucking Curveball in a yellow cake based fetish orgy of lust back in 2002!
A bitch is busy and overwhelmed with all the to-dos mounting up on my list of shit to do.
For the love of all bitchitude, my ass has been too busy to bitch!
I know…it’s beyond shocking (wink).
A choice pondering...
This bitch heard the news that the Supreme Court has ruled against choice this week and was alarmed. What alarms me the most is that I find myself debating a medical procedure when this precedent is about so much more.
I’ve said it before but, fuck it, I’ll say it again...this bitch does not belong to a sect of liberals that meet in a dark wood and chant spells calling for more abortions.
My activism in my community is based on education and creating a healthy dialogue about sex so that we are all empowered to make the right decisions for us.
I believe that those decisions should be made between the individual and their medical provider.
And though I find the idea of any court stepping into a medical relationship bizarre…and the unsaid indictment within these rulings that doctors who perform abortions are blood hungry beasts beyond insulting…this battle is about choice and we must all struggle against accepting the premise of the anti-choice arguments.
Valuing a culture of life…means educating the public about risks, diseases, how our bodies work, what healthy sex, what pleasure is, what medicines do what and why some medicines exist.
It does not mean raising our youth in a world of denial, myth, fear and ignorance.
In choice there is power…and that is what these people fear.
Through education…we find health and that is what they seek to deny.
Through sex education we encourage mature behavior and decisions…and that just will not do, now will it?
And why won’t that do?
Why do they fear intelligence?
Why do they encourage ignorance and the risky behavior that follows?
Why are they celebrating?
And what the fuck happened to all that "settled law" bullshit?
Stari decisis, my black ass!
Lawd, give me strength.
Mmmmhmm, it’s well past time we start asking why these motherfuckers are dedicating so much time towards denying access to medical procedures and so little time towards educating people and promoting sexual health.
Who benefits from a world without choice and sex education?
I already know who suffers.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Today’s dance break will be to the early work of Ms. Janet Jackson…a little song called Control.
Feel free to get your groove on at your work based area.
When I was 17,
I did what people told me
Did what my father said
…and let my mother mold me
But that was long ago
Can you feel it, can you feel it…can you feel it?!?
Whoops, took a left turn at Jackson Ave.!
I'm in control
Never gonna stop!
Control, to get what I want
Control, I got to have a lot
Control, now I'm all grown up
Mmhmm, tell it sistah!
Got my own mind
I wanna make my own decisions
When it has to do with my life, my life
I wanna be the one in control
I'm in control!
I'm in control!
Don't make me lose it.
I needed that!
Now back to your regularly scheduled bitchitude…
Now, I understand and respect that both political parties are knee deep in the be my donor and wink followed by wink I’ll be your friend once elected river of shit that defines Missouri politics.
But heaven to hell and back again, Matt Blunt isn’t even bothering to cover this stink up with air freshener!
Stinks, I tell you!
And, looking at the list of $100,000 donors to his *gulp* re-election campaign it would appear that the payoffs are just going to keep on coming.
Lawd, have mercy!
But hey, at least this old school good ole boys politics as usual bullshit helps clear up why that U. S. Attorney who may or may not have been investigating Matt Blunt’s gubernatorial malfunctions might have been kicked to the curb (and my how Cummins story has changed).
I guess having a Bushie for a father pays off…big time and every time!
Oh, and whilst you shudder…rumor has it Matt is on the V.P. short list for a certain Mitt-based candidate. Which would bring about the blessed end to Blunt Trauma in Missouri…but elevate the political threat level for the nation should that Mitt-based candidate win.
As we prepare for the Gonzales hearings keep this hot mess top of mind, because this is the kind of shit those folks fired were being asked to ignore in favor of trumped up voting fraud charges that certain people had hoped would hand them elections last year.
If they spent half as much time doing their motherfucking jobs as they spend paying back donors and trying to consolidating power we might actually get some government back for all those tax dollars spent.
But that’d be too much like right…
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
It’s an ache…just below the heart…where I imagine the soul resides.
In an instant I was taken back to December 1992 and the moment I learned of a shooting on the campus of my former school, Simon’s Rock College.
I remember that I had been missing Simon’s Rock…having recently transferred…that I had been specifically missing the place when the news came on that there had been a shooting.
Just below the heart.
There were fatalities.
Where the soul resides.
Violence had come calling in a place that had been my home and refuge.
Every time an incident of violence happens on a campus…every time the media sets up camp…I feel it again, that familiar ache. And I am taken back to that space where sorrow and pain collide with anger and blame only to become…after time…an ache just below the heart where I hope the soul resides.
I lay my hand over it…just below my heart…and feel the heat of it…that ache…and the sad comfort it still provides…just below the heart…and yet understanding still eludes me.
But there is that ache.
That familiar ache.
Just below the heart where I know the soul resides.
Monday, April 16, 2007
May those touched by this tragedy find comfort in each other as you struggle to understand the incomprehensible...
May the victims of this tragedy be welcomed with joy into heaven and be at rest in blessed peace...
And may the Divine One extend to us all a healing as we lift the community of Virginia Tech up in our thoughts and prayers.
A bitch is busy as hell today, so detailed bitchitude shall be delayed until this evening.
The oh so darling and most likely to play himself in any movie/play made about my life, Blood Ray, asked for the details on the new AMP.
It was fan-fucking-tabulous!
I am so thrilled for those guys! The place is larger or at least appears larger with beautifully done wood floors and comfy furniture (a bitch has decided the couch in the main room is my new area in the new space) and a kitchen so there are plans for munchables in the future. There’s a second room that’s too perfect for church meetings (wink) and, of course, the same great music throughout.
Gawd bless them, they still make one hell of a vodka cran.
Oh, and the patio should be opening up soon too!
Toodles ‘til later…
Friday, April 13, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Let’s limp right on in, shall we?
The Language Police Cometh…
As predictable as taxes and death, the second some motherfucker says something inappropriate on television and/or radio this bitch gets a ton of anonymous comments or e-mails about why we need to ban certain words.
I don’t know Don Imus and this bitch is willing to bet he doesn’t know about me, but obviously the issue of language in the community is on the table once again.
I don’t support banning words. I’d like this to be a world where my blog doesn’t average an anonymous n-word comment a day…but I do not support banning words.
Banning people? Hmmm. But that’s for another post.
Now, if I had a dollar for every long skirt wearing, Wednesday and Sunday all day church attending, well-read yet still misunderstood bible carrying sistah who took more time to communicate her dislike of my blog title than she has ever taken to participate in the community she alleges to defend against me I’d own CBS Radio!
Regulating language...no matter who is using it... doesn’t get anyone off the hook for what we do or fail to do in our communities.
My brothers and sisters we need to engage our community with consistency and authenticity, not only when some asshole on the radio touches a nerve.
We need to be a part of the community rather than visit it for some music or yummified food once a month.
And I don’t give a hot damn how many marches we have, how many candidates with Harvard law degrees run for president or how many Oscars are won…social change requires regular folks like you and this bitch getting off of our asses, jumping into our SisterGirl Cabrios and driving to the ‘hood, getting out of the car and participating in the lives of others.
Shit, some of y'all live in the hood and still don’t participate!
When you listen to offensive hip hop or rap music on the radio do you take the time to discuss how you feel about it with your friends and family? Do you take the time to use that song about sport fucking as a dialogue inspiring moment within your circle of people about HIV/AIDS or any of the other STDs making a comeback in Black America? Or how about the connection between teen pregnancy and economic empowerment after watching a movie or television show depicting casual unprotected sex?
Oooh, how about a discussion of reproductive choice after watching back to back erectile dysfunction commercials run in prime time but not seeing a single damned contraceptive ad run all day?
How about calling the general manager of a radio station for a sit down instead of preaching to no one about how bad the songs are? And no…uh uh, you do not need to be an anointed man of the civil rights era to advocate on behalf of your community. I'm not saying that urban radio will pull objectionable songs off air...but they might add more educational segments, discuss issues like sex and disease in the local community and begin to use that mega watt stick for more than making money hand over fist.
In conclusion, the language police cometh and then they flee again. But "community" is a 24/7 thing…it requires care and affection not the same judgmental bullshit.
And hey, this bitch would love some people of color company in the mentoring/shelter volunteering/life-skills class teaching/voter registration and education tackling clique. Drop me an e-mail and I'll point you in the right direction in St. Louis.
You feel me on that then we’re already speaking the same language…but I don't have time for the same old ban the word jive.
Bitchitude…the mastery of one’s inner bitch expressed through attitude, extreme realness and authentic emotion.
C-Money…my beloved sister and realness regulator.
Bill…my adored older brother and expert autist.
Betsey the sorta-beagle…my sorta-beagle.
Thelonious (Theo) the BayMaster…um, our newest sorta-beagle and hound who bays loudly.
Sweetie/Schwet/Sweeting the three legged Chow…C-Money’s dawg and my dawg niece See also, a three legged Chow saved by the fantabulous folks at Stray Rescue!
My Play Husband…my Play Husband is my Play Husband, musical guru (mmmhmm, don’t fuck with the tenured!!) and faithful member of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks
His Pontifical Greatness Brother Rob Thurman…my blog father, soul brother and co-founder of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks.
Vodka Cran…my beloved chil’ren who reside in the land of the live journals (hugs)
vodka crans…a bitch’s preferred drink of ice followed by vodka (Swedish or Russian) followed cranberry juice. No lime (sorry Crete…but you know I’ve got nothing but love for you).
Smothered goodness…Lawd, if you have to ask! A bitch adores soul food and specifically smothered pork/chicken/anything.
Miss SisterGirl Cabrio…a bitch’s much abused vehicle.
Miss SisterGirl Mac Book…my Mac Book.
Meds…a bitch does like my pills. Sudafed (though I have given up the juice for the faux), Excedrin, Advil (because my leg still pains me) and…umm, well I do like my pills.
How I take my coffee…2 teaspoons Splenda and a dash o’ organic milk.
The United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks…life is your ministry and the church is life. Go forth and do not trifle. Let the flock say amen!
Did I miss anything?
Oh yes, why do I refer to myself as a bitch?
Just kidding. I actually refer to myself as a bitch or this bitch in the real world too (wink)…but I never claimed to be right in the head.
And in conclusion...
Potty mouth language…oh, there are so many "wrong" words. Shit, fuck, motherfucker, bitch, asshole, stank assed motherfuckers, murder, assault, abuse, genocide, hunger, war, homelessness, neglect and FEMA to name a few.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Norman Lear has teamed up with various internet sites to help encourage 18 year olds to vote!
As someone who teaches a voter education series to 18 and 19 year olds I can assure you that they receive information differently (wink). This site is full of video clips and so forth to connect with youth, but it doesn’t appear to be lean on the fundamentals. I was thrilled to see this section with downloadable educational material on the vote and individual rights at the polls.
I’m forever amazed that the most recent group to gain the vote (American 18 year olds gained the vote in 1971 through ratification of the 26th Amendment to the Constitution) would be so disinterested in using it. I think part of the problem is that politics is forever defined by presidential elections and voters are not educated on how the local and state level drama plays into our lives. But education is the key and I sincerely hope Declare Yourself is the first of many!
Check it out and let me know what you think…
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
As some of you know, a bitch is a volunteer and I have been teaching classes at shelters for several years now. There have been many ups and far too many downs, but the ups make my volunteer work beyond rewarding.
The downs…well, I could do without them…but life ain’t perfect.
Anyhoo, this bitch got an “up” this morning.
One of my former students has been accepted to college on a full scholarship! She will be studying history and hopes to go into law. She and her beautiful baby girl will be leaving soon after she graduates from college.
This achievement comes after much struggle…a lot of downs followed by ups. Miss T. has battled addiction and abuse…fear and doubt…and one colic-based baby drama that just had to hit during finals (wink).
And it has been my privilege to witness her being liberated from fear…inspired by learning…and empowered by parenthood.
There goes the mascara!
Sniffle followed by sniffle.
So, I wanted to share this moment with y’all since you’ve sure as shit been subjected to more than a little volunteer based bitchitude (wink) in the past.
And you be sure to carpe that diem when you get to Atlanta, Miss T.!
Lawd, I’d jump up and down but my leg still hurts…
Monday, April 09, 2007
Please save the date (Sat. May 12) and plan to join the faithful flock of bitchitude in support of Thirst for Life 2007. This is a fantabulous cause benefiting PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) and St. Louis Effort for AIDS.
So, come have a vodka cran with a bitch at the kick off party!
THIRST FOR LIFE 2007 KICK OFF PARTY
ITS THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AS WE ANNOUNCE THE 2ND ANNUAL THIRST FOR LIFE TO BENEFIT PAWS-PETS ARE WONDERFUL SUPPORT AND THE PROGRAMS OF ST LOUIS EFFORT FOR AIDS.
PAWS HELPS THOSE WITH HIV/AIDS WHO CAN NO LONGER AFFORD TO KEEP THEIR PETS BY PROVIDING FREE FOOD, VET, CARE, GROOMING AND MORE.
THIS YEARS KICK OFF PARTY, TO BE HELD SATURDAY, MAY 12TH AT THE KENTUCKY CLUB (4168 MANCHESTER IN THE GROVE) CELEBRATES "MARDI GRAS IN MAY". DANCE TO THE HOTTEST DJ'S IN TOWN. SAMPLE FOODS FROM THE AREAS BEST RESTAURANTS. ENJOY LIBATIONS FROM ANHEUSER BUSCH, ABSOLUT AND LEVEL VODKA, COROZON TEQUILIA, RED BULL, JAGERMEISTER, TOMMY BAHAMA RUM, ECCO DOMANI WINES, GRAND MARNIER AND NAVAN! SILENT AUCTIONS, A PERFORMANCE BY THE ALBINO ALLEY CATS AND MORE!
A LIMITED NUMBER OF TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE FOR $25 SO ORDER YOURS TODAY. PLEASE ASK ALL YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CO-WORKERS TO JOIN US FOR THIS EVENT!
EMAIL Todd (2007 Event Chair) AT TODD@COCKTAILSFORLIFE.COM FOR ORDERING INFO!
Honestly, this bitch thought Imus was dead, so imagine my surprise when hearing he had a verbal malfunction whilst on air!
Oh, whatever…like you didn’t think he was dead too.
Let’s just keep it real.
Imus is not my kind of radio…I hadn’t heard his name in forever and a day…we are so not tight (wince and perish the thought)….and he looks like he’s 395 years old (hello, ever heard of sunscreen?). So, a bitch was surprised he was still alive and able to say ignorant shit about the Rutgers women’s basketball team.
Now, as for his comments about those fantabulous NCAA Championship almost achieving (wink) women’s basketball players being “nappy headed hos”…cough…well, umm.
Talk about the pot calling the kettle nappy!
Have you seen the nest-esque mop Imus is sporting on top of his head?
Lawd, it’s almost enough to make Trump’s tore up from the basement up mess look fetching.
Clicking onto ABC News.com’s home page and being confronted with a shot of Imus looking…well, nappified of head positioned side by side with a shot of Al Sharpton still rocking that relaxer…well, it made a bitch grateful to have lived this long.
But seriously, the ball is in NBC’s court and this bitch isn’t holding my breath on them doing the right thing. The network hasn’t exactly demonstrated a love for anything over profit.
How the hell do you think Imus got his job in the first place?
Mmmmhmmm, NBC is going to stand by whoever shows them the money.
Which takes me back to that pot calling that kettle names, doesn’t it?
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Faithful flock of bitchitude, Blue Grit is a must read!
I read it…I plan to gift it…and trust that a bitch will re-read too.
Laura Flanders cuts through the bullshit and narrows in on the relationship between what should be done and what can be done to bridge the gap between the Liberal masses and the Democratic Party. She went out and talked to real people…activists, politicians, political operatives and party people …and then connected the dots to show the potential within unity.
Blue Grit pulls no punches with the Democratic Party. But Flanders does more than say Liberals aren’t happy…are beyond not happy…are pissed off, fired up and disgusted (wink) with the party…she explains why and goes on to explain why that shit is toxic.
Flanders challenges the party to tap into the nuclear power that the people represent. Will the party answer the call and utilize the Liberal people power they are currently alienating? Will they listen to the locals…the folks on the ground…to new voices and new concerns?
Will the people be patient and wait for an invitation to the dance?
I finished Blue Grit reminded that politics is ours…that we the people can do more than complain about what is – we can change what is.
Will we? Yeah, that's the question.
Anyhoo, I wanted to share this with y’all…Blue Grit (The Penguin Press; April 9, 2007 ) is a joy to read and some serious Liberal fuel.
This bitch wants to hear what y’all think of it, so be sure to let me know.
On behalf of the state of Missouri…the city of St. Louis (Shit, do we have to claim him? He lives in Clayton, doesn't he? Ugh.)…and the flock of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks, this bitch would like to apologize in advance for newly appointed Ambassador Sam Fox.
Our Most Feared Leader, Scooter Bush, utilized a recess appointment to pay off an election securing debt owed a loyal friend…and you, the people of Belgium, are going to be the ones stuck with this asshole as ambassador from the United States.
Sorry ‘bout that.
Sam Fox of the truth be damned Swift Boat veterans for inaccuracy funding St. Louis Big Money Man on Campus capable of spending shit loads on political bullshit and thus worthy of a ‘you’ve done a fine job, Foxy’ kickback Ranger level Bushies…cough…has been appointed, by royal decree, ambassador to Belgium.
So, so very sorry!
Allow me to explain.
Some men drive giant sport utility vehicles or trucks to compensate for…well, hmmm.
Scooter B. tosses out recess appointments from hell.
The thing is, this bitch can already see Fox in action in Belgium!
You can expect an ad campaign against Prime Minister Verhofstad.
Oh yeah, that’s a given.
Fox will quickly ally himself with the conservatives and go after liberalism with a ferocious behind the scenes and not on paper blood lust that will shock and alarm!
Mmhmm, this bitch gives it three months tops before you start to see Belgium Vets for Truth ads calling out Prime Minister Guy Verhofstad for something he didn’t do or alleging that he didn’t do something he did do.
Fox, being the money man…and a coward...will hide behind his checkbook and fund the hell out of the campaign.
But a bitch is certain the great people of Belgium will survive Sam Fox (again, so sorry) and emerge unchanged.
Just keep your eyes on him…he’s an established knave, trust a bitch.
Bonne chance, Belgium!
Uh, or is it bonne courage?
Umm, veel geluk?
May the force be with you…
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
But not too busy to pause for an ABB Funk Break.
C’mon, you know a bitch needs some funk to get through a Wednesday!
Stand up in work-based area...flip on appropriate music (today’s selection will be Parliament P. Funk Wants to Get Funked Up)…and then proceed to get down with your own bad self.
Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong.
Oh, hell yes!
Make my funk the P. Funk
I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk
I wants to get funked up.
I don’t know ‘bout y’all, but this bitch feels a lot better now!
Mmhmmm…go on now!
Call my funk the P. Funk before I take it home…
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Tuesday, April 03, 2007
April showers are upon us, y’all!
This bitch is just grateful that I took my hair natural years ago, because this kind of humidity infused weather fucks up a straightened sassy bob hairstyle…big time!
Trust that a bitch is impressed!
Who knew that potentially potential Presidents could rustle up cash like that? I’ve been watching the dollars come in and…well, it make this bitch a wee bit quizzical.
Who the hell is donating all of this money?
What the fuck are these people buying?
Do they get pissed if the potentially potential President they dropped a load of cash on in March fizzles out by June?
Oh hell yes, this bitch would be beyond pissed!
Shit, for $26 Million dollars your ass had better win big…and I better get a seat at the head motherfucker in charge table when you do…and you’d better recognize that my money brought you into this dance and it can take you the hell out.
But I digress.
This bitch is undecided on who will get my vote.
As for the early leaders of the pack…well, this bitch has never been a trend whore.
When did the marathon turn into a sprint? Did a bitch blink and miss that shit?
Some of these candidates are way too popular and this bitch suspects they may have the political staying power of acid wash jeans.
Mmhmm, folks are going to wear the hell out of them…and then spend the rest of their lives denying they ever even heard of such a thing.
On a different campaign note...
Hey, Susie Flynn?
Give ‘em hell, lil bit!
Monday, April 02, 2007
This bitch is thinking of Marvin Gaye today, April 2nd…his birthday.
I grew up listening to Marvin Gaye in our house…to the joy, the soul and the sorrow of his music.
My father, who was the same age as Marvin Gaye, and I used to ride to the barber shop every Saturday. We hit the doughnut shop first…and then the hardware store…but always ended the day at the barber shop. It was full of black men of various ages…and a few kids like me. The same two ancients played chess every Saturday in the back, bottles of Dr Pepper set to the side and cigarettes dangling from trash talking lips.
A bitch used to sit and watch the ritual of it all. The snap of the smock…the buzz of the clippers…the delicate touch of finger to neck followed by the graceful lean of head to one side or the other. And floating like a pulse over it all was the sound of the radio.
Always the radio playing some soul song.
My father was in the chair…snap went the smock only to fluttered over him and then be secured at the neck…then the buzz of the clippers as my father’s afro was shaped and defined.
Marvin Gaye came on the radio...I must have been around 6 years old…and the noise of the room paused as if to acknowledge the truth of song. Just the buzz of the clippers and Marvin telling it like it was…like you wish it weren’t but knew it was.
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
Make me wanna holler
And throw up both my hands
I looked into my father’s eyes and saw emotion so raw it stole my breath.
Just for a moment there was no air.
This ain’t living.
Frustration…anger…pain…sorrow captured in my father’s eyes.
Throw up both my hands.
Then it was gone with the haunting final notes of the song.
The way they do my life.
I thought of that moment a few years later when the news came through that Marvin Gaye was dead. He was shot and killed by his father in a domestic dispute.
Send that boy off to die.
I thought of the look in my father’s eyes as he listening to Marvin Gaye while getting his hair cut…while allowing his mind to touch, however briefly, on what was…what he wish weren’t but knew was.
And I mourned in my 8 year old heart.
Panic is spreading
For what was that I wished wasn’t but knew…just knew was.
God knows where we're heading
For the end of life.
Oh, make me wanna holler
I mourned the memory of that look in my father’s eyes.
This ain’t living
And the cycle of it all.
Like the brother said…only three things for sure - taxes, death and trouble.
Marvin Gaye would have been 68 years old.
This morning I was flipping channels whilst sipping a truly exceptional cup of coffee when I accidentally clicked onto CNN (a bitch has been trying to cut down because commercials for Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace followed by commercials for Zahn’s race baiting topic of the moment make me hive-ish).
So, CNN popped onto the television and a commercial for Zahn’s Wednesday episode came on with the following sensationalized to the point of being comical voice over…
“You say you’re not a racist but all of your friends look the same. See if you’re guilty of self segregation!”
Mmmhmm, for real!
Suffice it to say, “Racism” and having a lot of friends who look a certain way being equated made my afro hurt.
It was downright sad to hear that “why do all the black kids sit together...you must hate white people” bullshit coming from the network that Bernard Shaw helped build.
Then it hit me…Zahn’s bait-heavy body of work points to one thing!
Paula Zahn’s black friend kicked her ass to the curb without a proper “I never could stand you because…” explanation.
You know and I know that Paula had at least one black friend. My guess is that she was friends with a sistah and danced on her nerve about once a year, but not often enough to prompt a curb kicking to.
Then Paula went there over something and sistah-friend had enough and let her foot do the talking.
Shit, even a society sistah has her limits.
So, Paula got kicked to the curb which brought up all of her unaddressed white guilt issues…which explains her hate that hate built Morton Downey Jr. meets Geraldo Rivera's show during the late 1980s race baiting just ‘cause she can programming of late.
Or she could simply be working the stroll for some ratings...and everyone knows that intellectually lazy explorations of race in America are the 6 inch clear high-heels of news programming.
Blink followed by blink.
A bitch is going to try to intervene!
Dear I used to be Paula Zahn’s black friend before I had enough of her bullshit and kicked her to the curb,
I know this would be a huge sacrifice. Okay, so she asked if she could touch your hair…got drunk and slobbered on and on about how she didn’t have anything to do with slavery and her nanny growing up was black…oh, and then made that comment about watermelon...
Okay, Paula Zahn is an asshole and you had more than enough reason to kick her narrow bony ass to the curb.
I’m not saying you have to be her friend again…you just can’t leave shit undefined. Turn on the television and witness what a lack of ‘why I kicked your ignorant Ann Coulter in training right down to the unfortunate ink black roots on your head ass to the curb’ clarity has wrought!
I need you to pick up the phone, dial Paula’s number and explain to her why you won’t be picking her for the kickball team ever again!
Do it, for the love of a network that has debased itself enough already (Glenn Beck? Oh, c'mon people!).
Oh, what the hell am I saying?
Fuck it, girl.
Leave that trash where you kicked it and give the gutter something to look forward to...
I have some to the conclusion that medical professionals may actually know what the hell they are talking about (wink)!
If a bitch doesn’t elevate my lower right leg…that temperamental motherfucker really will swell!
And if a bitch doesn’t rotate my ankle area…that motherfucker tenses up and gets stiff and basically does the ankle-based equivalent of telling this bitch to go fuck myself when I next attempt to use it.
Oh, and if I fail to “take it easy” and “give myself time to heal”…my body will punish my 'too quick to dismiss the expertise of others' ass (wince).
But this bitch has learned my lesson…the hard way, but fuck it all I learned it!
Thanks and showers of appreciation to everyone who has listened to me bitch (wink), assisted me in some way and sent advice/prayers/well wishes regarding my lower right leg-based drama.